


Blame It on Me

by pylador19



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 18:34:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5976946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pylador19/pseuds/pylador19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin blames himself for a lot of things, Eren just wants him to believe himself for once</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame It on Me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I just really wanted to jump on the Eremin fanfiction bangwagon...

Armin blames himself for a lot of things; the time he was five years old and broken a whole collection of plates his great grandmother had left for his mother, the times he was seven and let the dog out of the house which was never seen again, and all those times he had to open his mouth about life outside the walls that Eren and Mikasa always had to come save his ass. There is however one thing above all that he blames himself the most for; letting those he loves die.

If he hadn’t been so fascinated with what laid outside of the walls, he could have prevented his parents from sneaking out to see for themselves. If he had spoken up, he could have stopped his grandfather from going to fight and he would probably still be alive now. If he hadn’t been such a wimp, he could have fought the Titans, many more of his friends would have lived, and Eren wouldn’t have ‘died’ saving him.

He puts on a front to show people that it no longer bothers him, yet it’s been almost two years since that day and it still haunts him. For the first few weeks after the incident Armin would have nightmare after nightmare almost every night. He did a pretty good job of concealing it initially, but it was soon very obvious that it bothered him more than he cared to show. He would put on a brave front and act like it didn’t bother him, but whilst Eren was held in the cell before joining the scouts, it would mostly be Armin there watching out for him.

Most of the time it was Levi or Erwin who would wonder by to check on Eren, and instead find Armin sat outside his cell door. The guards had given up after the first four tries to get rid of him. Levi would usually be the one to tell him to get lost, but Armin would always come back after he left, and eventually he too gave up. Erwin however took some sort of pity on Armin; whilst he was there he would allow the boy to stay, he would be the one who would alert Mikasa if Armin had spent too long down there, and she would be the one to come get him so he actually ate and slept right.

“Tell me Armin, what is so fascinating about Eren that you feel the need to be here every night myself or Levi have been as well?”

Erwin is the only person Armin tells everything to. He hardly knew the man, didn’t know what the man could do with the information Armin was telling him, but for so long Armin had bottled up his emotions, always assured others that he was fine when he really wasn’t, and he was sure they could easily see through his lies. When the opportunity came for someone to sit there and listen to him, he just spilled everything. All the emotions within poured out and though he didn’t want to cry in front of such a respected man like Erwin, he couldn’t and didn’t stop himself.

“I-it’s always my fault. If I was a bit stronger I-I would have been able to help. I-if I wasn’t such… such a coward, I would have been able to fight. Nobody else would have died… and Eren wouldn’t be here like this now”

After their little talk, Erwin gives Armin unlimited access to visiting Eren. From the crack of dawn to even late at night after a nightmare of the day Eren ‘died’, Armin would be down there watching him. At one point the guards started taking enough pity on him that they even allowed him into Eren’s cell, provided he leave when they said and that he too was locked in as well.

Armin didn’t care about their terms, he just wanted to be closer to Eren again. Inside the cell, he would sit on the floor or on the edge of the bed watching Eren, just watching him. Sometimes if the guards weren’t looking, he would lean down and press his ear against Eren’s chest, just to make sure he really wasn’t imagining things. Those times in the cell with Eren made Armin promise himself that he was going to get better. He wasn’t physically the strongest person, but he was determined to make himself stronger so that nobody had to help him, so that nobody had to die for him again.

 

 

 

Two years have now passed and though Eren was there, still alive, right in front of him, Armin still had his worries. Eren was the Titan shifter, and yet it was Armin looking out for him; making sure he was safe, that he didn’t get into any more fights with Jean or any other members of the scouts. Most important to Armin however was making sure that Eren came back after every mission still alive.

The nightmares still came every now and then. They’re a lot less frequent compared to how they were previously, but much more frequent on the anniversary of that day. It was no surprise for Eren then when he woke up on the night of the second year anniversary and found Armin sat at the end of the bed, staring at him with wides eyes, shaking, and tears streaming down his face.

Eren doesn’t say anything, he just reaches out and pulls Armin towards him. He holds him in his arms, letting him cry, letting him rest against his chest to check if his heart is still beating.

“It was all my fault” Armin whimpers “If I hadn’t give up so easily you would never have had to come save me”

“Stop that” Eren says, shushing him when he keeps trying to speak “Stop blaming yourself like this all the time. It’s not your fault. You weren’t the one who kicked the hole in the wall that was the Colossal Titan’s fault. You weren’t the one who killed Thomas, Mina, Mylius or Nac that was the Titan’s fault. You most definitely didn’t kill me; I chose to come save you and I don’t regret doing so if it means having you here by me right now. None of this was ever your fault, so please stop being so hard on yourself”

Armin still blames himself for a lot of things, it’s in his nature to do so. Yet as he falls asleep in Eren’s arms to the beat of his heart, knowing that Eren didn’t blame him for his ‘death’, he begins to think that he doesn’t have to blame himself anymore, that he can get past this and finally be able to move on...


End file.
